Frequently Asked Questions
How often will we come to couples therapy?
Weekly sessions are a good frequency for many couples, as this helps couples keep momentum with their progress.
We would really like to make progress on our relationship quickly.. What do you recommend?
Meeting for longer sessions and/or more frequent sessions are an option for exactly that!
Some couples express feeling like that they get “3 hours worth” of therapy in a 120 minute session. This is because 120 minutes allows us to be in the therapeutic space for much longer than a 55 minute session, and therefore a lot more progress can be made in just one session. When your relationship is deeply in distress, having sessions long enough to allow partners to connect in the ways that you have been waiting for can help restore hope in the potential of the relationship.
Please let me know if you have any questions about session length, and I can answer any of your questions and make recommendations based on your relationship needs and goals, with consideration to your scheduling needs and preferences as well.
We’ve been to couples therapy before… How will this be different?
My structured approach and active role in the session typically results in a different experience for couples than what they have experienced in the past. I encourage me clients to communicate with me about what the experience is like for them. If there is anything that you’d like for me to adjust or incorporate in session, please let me know. I want partners to always feel that their voice matters. I consider each partners’ experience to be central to our work together.
My partner and I are overall happily married, but just have a small communication issue.. Can you help us?
Absolutely! Couples that identify with this scenario often complete around 6 couples therapy sessions (after the 4 assessment sessions), and by then have a functioning resolution to the original issue that brought them in to couples therapy. Some couples choose to then reduce session frequency to once per month or less, for assistance in maintaining their progress. Other couples simply do not need further sessions at that point. I also help couples to identify the best level of ongoing therapeutic support for their relationship.
Our relationship has been hard for quite a while.. Is there hope?
If both partners are committed to healing and change, improving your relationship is absolutely possible.
However, the sooner that couples get relationship support, the sooner they can move out of conflict and disconnection and into a better place, and the less that they need to recover and repair from by the time they enter the therapy room. If the period of relationship difficulty has been a long one, don’t continue to wait. Give your relationship the support it needs to thrive.
We need help with an issue related to sex… can you help us?
Research from both the Gottman Institute and attachment science has indicated that sexual issues are largely related to the emotional health of a couple’s relationship. In certain circumstances, a medical doctor may be an appropriate referral as well.
Do you work from a religious framework? LGBTQ+ couples?
I have experience working with couples from a wide range of religions as well as sexual orientations, and welcome couples of all backgrounds!
Cultural, religious, and other beliefs are certainly important context to your story. The Gottman Method was developed from over 50 years of research that included participants across many cultures, age groups, religions, sexual orientations, etc. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on the the science of human attachment. Thousands of studies have been done on attachment, and have found attachment needs to be universal to humans. So no matter your background, these approaches will be relevant to assisting you and your partner toward connection and improved relationship satisfaction.
Please share with me your particular beliefs that are relevant to your relationship, and these will be integral to our work together.
Do you work with nontraditional relationships, or Ethical Non-monogamy (ENM)/polyamorous relationships?
Yes, I do have experience with nontraditional relationships, such as ENM/poly relationships. Unfortunately, there is limited research on these types of relationships in general. If you have questions related to your unique relationship’s structure and how I might be able to help, I would love to hear from you.
Do you work with individuals?
I do offer individual therapy for clients whom the focus is relationship-focused, such as understanding their attachment and relationship patterns. This is available to clients who are partnered or single. Please contact me for more information.